How to successfully step into moving traffic:
1. Dress to Kill: You're going to want to dress your best. You don't want to be looking like a hobo because no one will care. A good look would be clean clothes, preferably matching. A three-piece suit would work perfectly, but if you don't have that, then a nice shirt and tie would do. Ladies, no clothes you would wear to you're little S & M get-together. You're going to want to go for a nice dress or blouse, preferably black silk or cotton.
2. Location, Location: Obviously, you're not going to want to try a back alley or a street without and vehicles. The more traffic, the merrier. Great area locations: highways, freeways, the Autobahn, NASCAR track, Costa Rica, downtown slums, and gang territories.
3. Timing is Everything: Get to know the traffic patterns and general speed of the vehicles. You don't want to walk into the side of a bus or get hit by someone's grandmother who's going 20 km/h.
4. Aim for the Stars: Now it's time to step out. Choose a vehicle depending on how you would like to get hit. If you want to be mowed over, semi trucks, mini vans, SUV's, and pick-up's are you're best bet. If you want to roll over the hood and fly like rag doll, convertables, two-door cars, Formula One cars, and sports cars will help you on your way. Watch out for Smart cars, though, as you will do more damage to them than they you. Once you have your vehicle of choice, walk directly in front and centre of vehicle. (If you want to add more style, aim for the left or right of the vehicle so that you might be tossed to the side. You may even be able to pull off a double car combo with this trick.)
5. There's No Business Like Show Business: Last, but not least, have fun with it. Try to hit the ground in your most creative position. Any creative pose will surely lead you to the front page of any newspaper! Good Luck!
...
Cheers!
21.2.07
Life At Home
Ah, Spring Break.
After running through some details of my school-load and my correspondence course, I have been able to lift some weight off of my shoulders. It's nice. Where I thought I was royally screwed, I'm actually not. So, crisis averted. yay
Is it possible to feel young again at 22? Because that's what's happening. It's like I'm brand new, fresh and pressed. But, my oh so ever disconcerning subconscious falters as usual, reminding me of past experiences where this sort of thing ends just short of my expectations. That's life I suppose. I revel in it anyway.
I'm also, due to this new juvenile energy, questioning my earlier decision to spend said energy on particular things. I'm starting to wonder if this is really what I want or is there something better, something that I dont have to sell my soul to have? Probably. I'm still unsure. Is it still worth pursuing or do I need something else? Well, I have a nice ol' test thingy scheduled that hopefully will answer all of my questions. I'm making this out to be like it's a big deal, but it's not. It's just that I want what's best for me now, and I want it selfishly. I've noticed a trend in my life where half of my decisions are made based on what would make other people happy; more than half actually. Gah, I'm such a pushover...
One day, I'm going to leave it all behind. I don't mean leave for a holiday or a year even. I mean leave for good. And I cannot wait for that day.
Cheers
After running through some details of my school-load and my correspondence course, I have been able to lift some weight off of my shoulders. It's nice. Where I thought I was royally screwed, I'm actually not. So, crisis averted. yay
Is it possible to feel young again at 22? Because that's what's happening. It's like I'm brand new, fresh and pressed. But, my oh so ever disconcerning subconscious falters as usual, reminding me of past experiences where this sort of thing ends just short of my expectations. That's life I suppose. I revel in it anyway.
I'm also, due to this new juvenile energy, questioning my earlier decision to spend said energy on particular things. I'm starting to wonder if this is really what I want or is there something better, something that I dont have to sell my soul to have? Probably. I'm still unsure. Is it still worth pursuing or do I need something else? Well, I have a nice ol' test thingy scheduled that hopefully will answer all of my questions. I'm making this out to be like it's a big deal, but it's not. It's just that I want what's best for me now, and I want it selfishly. I've noticed a trend in my life where half of my decisions are made based on what would make other people happy; more than half actually. Gah, I'm such a pushover...
One day, I'm going to leave it all behind. I don't mean leave for a holiday or a year even. I mean leave for good. And I cannot wait for that day.
Cheers
13.2.07
Under Pressure
I'm having a panic attack.
A bit odd that I should be writing it down here. It's nothing major like fall-on-the-floor-twitching-all-seizure-like, but it's there. It's sitting in my chest, gripping my lungs. Like a slow poison it creeps around in my throat until it comes up and numbs my lips. I'm breathing heavily as if I'm in the mountains. The pressure is continues, never easing up, never stopping. There's no rythme like a pulse, just the constant squeeze.
It could be a number of things. I hate to admit some of them, so I won't. It could be that all of my midterms are tomorrow. It could be that my future is completely unknown to me and that scares me a lot. It could also be that I'm worried about my fragile friendship being screwed up for good if I do something foolish. It could be roommate troubles, it could be my writer's block, it could be money problems. It could be a lot of things. It could be everything. All I know is that this tension is overwhelming and I can't concentrate on anything.
So, here I am. My last resort. I write here for a bit and get it out of my system. Only, it's not really working. Maybe I should just take deep breaths and lie down or something. That might work. God, I want tomorrow to be over. Just over.
uh...
...Cheers...
A bit odd that I should be writing it down here. It's nothing major like fall-on-the-floor-twitching-all-seizure-like, but it's there. It's sitting in my chest, gripping my lungs. Like a slow poison it creeps around in my throat until it comes up and numbs my lips. I'm breathing heavily as if I'm in the mountains. The pressure is continues, never easing up, never stopping. There's no rythme like a pulse, just the constant squeeze.
It could be a number of things. I hate to admit some of them, so I won't. It could be that all of my midterms are tomorrow. It could be that my future is completely unknown to me and that scares me a lot. It could also be that I'm worried about my fragile friendship being screwed up for good if I do something foolish. It could be roommate troubles, it could be my writer's block, it could be money problems. It could be a lot of things. It could be everything. All I know is that this tension is overwhelming and I can't concentrate on anything.
So, here I am. My last resort. I write here for a bit and get it out of my system. Only, it's not really working. Maybe I should just take deep breaths and lie down or something. That might work. God, I want tomorrow to be over. Just over.
uh...
...Cheers...
11.2.07
What to do...
Well, Valentine's Day is coming up...and I could care less.
It's a stupid holiday created by Hallmark so they could sell more cards. It's also sad that we need to invent a holiday that requires us to do something romantic or whatever for our significant other. Wow, talk about taking away our initiative. Or maybe it's because I'm just so gosh darned lonely this year. It's a toss up really. I'm stifling back the tears.
Last night's Formal/Bash was...I guess...a success. I really don't know since I was only there for about an hour. I was lucky enough not to have signed up for that thing that reminds me so much of high school dances that I want to vomit. Sure it was fun seeing some people and chatting around the coat check, but everything else was...just as I expected. Drunk people dancing, sober people sitting looking bored, and drunk people sitting on the verge of passing out. What fun!
No, I had fun at O'Shea's drinking pints and playing crib in a "Anti-Formal" sort of night. It was nice there because of the no dress code thingy. I realized that I have pretty much no classy clothes. Nothing to take to a banquet or some other fancy place. Maybe I should look into that. Or not.
Wow...that's it. I've got nothing else. Holy crap my life is boring. I should go live with the Sherpas or sail on a boat or something. I need some freaking excitement. Life is too boring!
...
sigh.
Cheers!
It's a stupid holiday created by Hallmark so they could sell more cards. It's also sad that we need to invent a holiday that requires us to do something romantic or whatever for our significant other. Wow, talk about taking away our initiative. Or maybe it's because I'm just so gosh darned lonely this year. It's a toss up really. I'm stifling back the tears.
Last night's Formal/Bash was...I guess...a success. I really don't know since I was only there for about an hour. I was lucky enough not to have signed up for that thing that reminds me so much of high school dances that I want to vomit. Sure it was fun seeing some people and chatting around the coat check, but everything else was...just as I expected. Drunk people dancing, sober people sitting looking bored, and drunk people sitting on the verge of passing out. What fun!
No, I had fun at O'Shea's drinking pints and playing crib in a "Anti-Formal" sort of night. It was nice there because of the no dress code thingy. I realized that I have pretty much no classy clothes. Nothing to take to a banquet or some other fancy place. Maybe I should look into that. Or not.
Wow...that's it. I've got nothing else. Holy crap my life is boring. I should go live with the Sherpas or sail on a boat or something. I need some freaking excitement. Life is too boring!
...
sigh.
Cheers!
6.2.07
1.2.07
Open Mic
I have proof in the form of pictures! Jess and I played a couple songs last night and it was great. Especially "Jenny" by Flight of the Conchords, even we screwed up a few times. When we played "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World, I unfortunatly was more focused on the guitar in my hand than the crowd in front of me. Next Stop: Augustana Against Aids Open Mic this friday! P.S. I also have video, but I'll leave that off for now mainly because it's low quality and that I don't know how to put videos on here yet.
Jess and Me
Jess singing
Me playing, looking down
Cheers!
Jess and Me
Jess singing
Me playing, looking down
Cheers!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
