Fate Kicking Sand in My Eyes

I cleaned house. I was at the point of complete disarray that I had to force myself to stop and look at the cluster I left in my path. My room was a mess: papers thrown across the floor, wrappers tossed somewhere in the vicinity of my full trash, clothes lay scattered to the point that I couldn't remember if they're dirty or not. So, I picked up the junk, emptied the trash, put the clothes and bed sheets in the wash, and vacuumed the floor. I'm so proud of myself.

I've been feeling this a lot lately, that I have to choose between two evils and pick the lesser one. There's no right answer, only a series of wrong ones. There is a serious lack of positive vibes in my life. Maybe that's why I love going home to the folks; they have plenty.

There's that certain aspect in my life where I just cannot win. I've tried various tactics to prevail and overcome it, but they end in disaster. You know how you see something go down in you r head, but becomes completely different when it actually happens? Well, that's reality for you, and I've been getting my fair share of it.

Stupid people and they're stupid limitless energy. Here they are bouncing off the walls while I'm struggling to open the door to get away. Am I cynical or experienced? It can be very frustrating not have any energy, and it is very angering when I see someone who has it in leaps and bounds. I have a theory that mine was stolen from me in second year, along with my CD jacket.

I wish there was a lighter note, but nothing exciting has happened lately. I've been bored-stricken for a week now, and it's difficult to fathom spending my whole life having days, weeks, months, or years living a dull, repetitive existence. I just will not stand for it. I want excitement. I want adventure. I want the satisfaction of living my life to the fullest, and when I'm done, I want to die satisfied and content.

Is that too much too ask?

Cheers!