Ok...What Just Happened??

I don't know why I went to her for some musical advice, I don't know why I insisted she come out to Kareoke night on Saturday, and I do not for the love of God know why I proceeded to get plastered in front of her and sing Luck Be a Lady and Sexy Back. Sure, I was a happy drunk near the end, but then I embarassingly spilled my beer in such a movie cliche way that I swore I could hear a laugh track. So, I did what any man would do under the circumstances: I ran outside in utter defeat. I was pretty sure, while lying in the snow outside, that over the course of the last year, I have made possibly the worst decisions involving this girl.

Bad decision 1: Drunken love talk to supposedly no one results in a kick-to-the-crotch "I told you so!" realization that, yes, of course someone was listening.

Bad decision 2: Spilling the beans at a table surrounded by what only be described as pirates while also wearing an eye patch and ending the night with a dramatic chasing of the car down the street to the hockey arena and basically repeating the whole spilling of the beans which didn't seem to work in the first place.

Bad decision 3: Choosing a vow of silence from dream girl because you are so angry that words can no longer describe it - thus vow of silence - and because you still cling to your obsessive insecurities like a man to a raft surrounded by pirahnas. Realizing that not saying anything is actually worse than being angry: priceless.

So, lying in the snow and losing feeling in my fingers, I realized that, yeah, I've made plenty of mistakes, but so does everyone. And the great thing about making mistakes is our ability to correct them. So, I walked back, expecting her to still be sitting there, not even realizing that I had left. What I didn't expect was her outside looking for me.

After a year of awkward silences, we talked. Well, she talked. I had hissy fits and fought nearby dumpsters. At first, I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to storm off dramatically and leave her in the dust. I said that I'm going to get my coat, pay my tab, and go straight home. Little did I know was that she was damn persistant and followed me the first block like a puppy. Eventually, by 2 in the morning, we talked and talked and talked, and for the first time in a year, we ended off the night on a good note. In fact, I've seen more of her over the last day than I have in the last 6 months. I'm not going to lie, my feelings for her are still pretty confusing, but I'm glad she's back in my life. One can have only so many regrets in their life and I don't wish this to be one of them. For better or for worse, I will do everything in my power to make this work.

Here's to a good year.
Cheers!